The BAD BOYS CLUB is an ad hoc association that embodies some of the more outstanding antics of our beloved Welshies. I formalized the Club based upon the song "Bad Boys, Bad Boys, Whatcha Goin' to Do with Bad Boys?" popularized a few years ago. However it started out with Lynda Stofan from Maine writing about her beloved Rusty, aka Rusty the Roofer. Rusty has climbed up onto the garage roof several times in his varied career, which is some feat given that the garage roof is located about 10 feet off the ground. This story got the Welsh List motivated in recounting tall tales, and soon we had five officials members, with Rusty being the fearless leader, Baxter with his agility antics, Meg with her 'bad girl' hole on her sailboat, Nevsky with his urinating into a bowl on the dinner table, and another Baxter in Michigan with his knife wielding antics at the dinner party.

Now many owners have since aspired to have their Welshie included into this exclusive club, which brought about this response from me:

Recently, there has been some inquiries in how to join the BAD BOYS CLUB, and Baxter has asked me to clarify the criteria for membership. As with all things, the criteria is complicated and interrelated, but I shall try to sort it out as best I can, and as closely as Baxter dictated it to me.

"Membership is open to all Welshies regardless of sexual orientation or lack there of."

"First, the Welshie's deed(s) must have a great impact and leave a lasting impression on biped public. Mac's recent visit to McDonald's is a fine example. Mac, a newly rescued dog in Galveston, was in the back seat of the car with Meg, his new sister, as their owner, Kathy, was picking up some refreshments for her fellow flyball competitors. Kathy drove up to the pick-up window, and Mac shot out of the back seat, over Kathy's lap, spilling hot coffee everywhere, through the service window and into the McDonald's kitchen. He then quickly proceeded into the dining room which was packed full of children on Saturday morning. Poor Kathy had to abandon her car in the pick-up lane, dash into McDonald's, retrieve Mac, who was still having an excellent adventure, and finally return to her car. Mac's feat left a lasting impression on the staff of McDonald's, and well as on the list. Mac's antics were then written up in the McDonald's newsletter. This amazing feat earned him an immediate membership in the club."

"Secondly, the deed must have epic proportions and grow in stature in every retelling of the story. Rusty's continuing adventures on the garage roof are an excellent example."

"Thirdly, and this might be the most important criteria, the deed must not only be embarrassing for the biped owner, but public humiliation is essential. Both Meg and I are masters of this, for we constantly exit the competition leaving our owners alone in a very big ring looking like fools trying to get us to return to them. Again, the retelling of the story adds to the embarrassment."

"Fourthly, the deed must make good copy such as Nevsky's use of his beloved Allie's water bowl as his personal urinal - or Baxter's public search and rescue efforts regarding hamburgers."

"The deed must also have an element of danger, preferably life threatening to either the Welshie, the biped owner, or to both. Rusty's impromptu wall renovations around a live electrical outlet, Baxter's run along the horse track when he was supposed to be in the agility ring, or Meg's escape from the flyball ring, out of the building and across the parking lot, all come to mind."

"But the real star in this category belongs to Baxter from Michigan. He attended his first dinner party and jumped up onto the dinner table in front of all the guests and served himself some supper. This was followed by him grabbing a carving knife by the handle with the blade pointing outward, and wildly running across the table, then around the house. Needless to say, nobody would or could go near him. It ended without incident, and I must say I am very proud of my namesake."

"Finally, the deed must have financial implications for the biped owner. The loss of an entry fee by me refusing to cross the start line in competition, and thereby being disqualified before even beginning, or Rusty's wall renovation scheme - a hole in the wall about 3 feet wide and 5 feet tall - are all good examples."

"Every qualifying deed needs to embody at least three of the criteria, and the deed can be either an outstanding individual effort, or cumulative. The more the better, in fact. Rusty, our fearless leader embraces all of the criteria."

"That's it. If I have forgotten a Welshie who should be a member, please let us know. It is an exclusive club with stringent membership requirements but we warmly embrace all who aspire to and achieve our goals."

Sincerely,
Baxter
aka The Prince of Darkness

Post Script

Since writing this piece, another Welshie has joined the Club, and our newest member of the Bad Boys Club - here's Bertie! He is an 11 month old rescue Welsh Terrier who has been with us just 7 weeks at the end of February, 2000. This week he had his first taste on unsupervised freedom on our house. His house training and behaviour had gone so well, I decided he could have a little freedom in the living room while I worked upstairs in my office. Twenty minutes later I heard a crash unlike anything I have heard in the house before. I ran downstairs to find Baxter asleep on his chair, but Bertie was in the dining room. He had 'felled' a 6 foot high tree that we had growing in the corner of the room. In less than 15 minutes. He had managed to chomp his way through the trunk, leaving us a stump in the basket, and a tree on the floor.

We now have two members of the Bad Boys Club residing in our household.

Sigh